i can't believe i had my finger in that
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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