SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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