I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
