Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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