is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Randomize