walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I don't deserve a penis
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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