hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
