Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
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