I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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