You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize