I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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