No, you can still breathe under the balls.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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