I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
