you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
