last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
