A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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