do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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