He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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