so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
