Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
