what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
