i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
