addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Randomize
