wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
