What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
