what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Let's paint friendship bongs
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
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