no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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