I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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