I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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