U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
