I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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