My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Randomize
