Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
