My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
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