Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
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