glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
