Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
