Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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