drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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