Don't you send me to vm
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
