i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
