I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize