If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
what day is it and did you see me today?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
