I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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