Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
