the new term for farting is butt boxing.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
