We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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