NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
