He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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