you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize