Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
