You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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