Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
