i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
