Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize