so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
