we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
