I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize