Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
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