Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
only if we run a train.
done.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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