You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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